When i get mushy, ill get realy mushy. hahha

underneath all the lies there's a truth
truth is, i miss you
underneath all the mess there's a sacred reality
truth is, im in love with you

and the truth is, when it comes to u
i cant seem to find the suitable yet perfect words to describe you
You're unique and original, i guess, that's what i fell for
now, you're the reason i smile
now, you're the sun that shine me thoroughly
now, you're my comfort that makes me high
now, you're my air that comes from within
now, it just u and me and nothing else matter

and if there's any storm that passes by in the future
i'll promise you, i'll hold your hand,and will never let go
as i have given my heart to you, we'll face it all, together

Taken

those brown eyes
cuts deep through this heart of mine
his undeniably candy sweet smiles
he,himself is one of a kind

It was all worth it,
theres no other words for me to write
nor
to describe
u made me fall for u each time
ill say it all every single time
it just smething dfrent
putting appart the reference
ill be standing by ur side,
through the time,the path
through it all

Thanks sayang:)

P/S:
this is specifically dedicated to someone.he's not one of u,as he doesnt know my blog. hahah

Rise

the summer breeze
kill me pleasee

the wind blows my hair off my shoulder
sand between my toes as i walk through
and a packet of liquorish never taste better
my cranky sky never this baby blue

when u make me say 'i like u alot'
u make my heart write this for u
words drawn by all the plot
as the sound turning me to u

as colorful as it is
i wonder how it feels
cz i dont know wt to do ,jeez
as i am clueless ,ouh please

pigeon fly by, and i never even bother
not now, details and similarities
is this the one or another
tasting better than the red smarties

putting all the pieces together
abandoned by the one who ignored
and i never feel better
even when im confuse or not

keeping my eyes wide
open, so i wont miss any moment
and as the clouds colide
it creates the seconds

i tripped,bt im not embarrased
i cut,bt im not bleeding
i believe,bt its not a curse
i say,and im not kidding

*wink

Linger, an expression of anger

no turning back

i loved, u loved, we loved
it was heaven, no rush
we held hands all the way through
but my thoughts went wild
u acted out of reach
i went thousands of mile
to make things better in reach

i pour my heart out, sayang
i let all my guards down
u know how hard it was sayang??
i even let my ego out drown
im the type who stand for its beliefs
but for u, i ignore it all
i tried, fought what thought would be a relief
it even made my heart crawl

i pull, hold the strings as tight, as hard
u?
u just stand there and stared
what happen to you?
i asked, i beg, for the answers
when i was ready to accept ur non-existance
what u did was, lied & give me kisses

i tried my best to believe the words
but baby, in ur eyes, lies the truth
i knew it was coming, it was a cursed
u will someday, tell the truth
what u did,u left with a sentence
'im sorry'
and just dissapear in split seconds?

now, out of the blue, ure back here
saying 'I miss you' and millions of sorry
if u said u hope for me to hug & act to tear
i would say 'u fucking wrong, Haiqal Ramli'

IMPORTANT!!

if u are going to read the rendition underneath this post, please listen to Paramore-Decode while reading it! its COMPULSORY!

My rendition,of my redemption.

how could i did what i did
i turn without a look
how could i kill like i did
i glance & i took

ouh lord, neither ure near or far
im on my knees, begging u please
let me out of this misery at war
im sincere,& true,its not a tease

my pride have been drawn
my heart have been stabbed
strenghth? all gone
Faith? not a depth

how long will i be stucked
ouh god, im weak, weak as the hopeless
ouh god how much it sucked
with the words and mockery, im restless

hw much i wish i wont care
not even a bit, not even a skit
hw much i wish i would dare
as far, as near, as bit, as skit

Unoccupied, untied, lying on the ground
holding my hand up, reaching for the impossible
hopelessly dying, curling around
as the glow in my eyes dies, reaching for the impossible

look at me, ull see
the sight, the hell, the misery im in
look into my eyes, ull see
the weak,hopeless,damage im keen

as theres nothing left in my eyes,my soul
reflecting me dying,hopeless

ouh god, i wish to u,i pray,
to make it matter to me,
life, live, not stray
to make me see, its all in me

rendition of the hopeless

INSPIRING in a weird way

somehow when i hear DECODE - paramore, the words in my head, flows out like waterfall, i cant seem to stop writing. The emotions that the song gave each time i listen to it, are derived from the 'depth' in me. it brings out these deep words, whic me myself, cant explain at times. if u read anything that u dont get, dont blame me, blame the song for provoking and unleashing. hahaha

..........may

every word that i spit out
may sound bad,or worse
but it is what its all about
may be a gift or a curse

what i am to u
is not what i am to me
it doesnt matter to u
may be nothing to me

blow, blow away
the wind blows so hard
it even gives out flare
offloading the guards

i have no idea
im blank, dark & left
im not writing the criteria
this is just another theft

theft on cheap ,rusty words
those which been smashed to pieces
killed & stung, so absurd
derailed, no hugs or kisses

may it be or not
let the answer be its own
along with the clutter & plot
poluted,poisoned by its tone

Debut Video.. hahha,sounds so exclusive,NOT

OK, 1st of all, this was made about a year ago.
& 2nd, do not make fun of it cz i know its not as good
3rd it is again, my 1st attemp, so, cut me some slacks yea.
4th., ENJOY:) & COMMENT if u could

& thats afiq, my good friend, miss u dear.
& yes, that silly girl , thats me



Like a Star acoustic cover

unfinished project

Critical

morning light sparks me right
the breeze shivers my straight through heart
all this while i blank i just might
as well stays as mild

closely still you are to me
ur presence, ur smell
linger the drained love
critically winning me over

how can i say what im doing is right
when ure hurting me inside
i need u like i need air
y cant u see

i still stand here, when i know its over
i stil wait here, when i know its over

ur voice, those whispers
stop it, stop it, its so near
burning my heart, so it clears

stranded all tide up
i guess i tried,it might kill me
bt i wont give up

Sweet 16 Flashbacks

I made this poem when i was 16, only now im gona let it out.
here are also some pictures of me back then. hehe
But ive modified bits here & there.
its called..

"AFTER SCHOOL RIDE"


She's a typical girl
&
she thought everything around her were real
but the truth is worse than it seems
what have she done to deserve this, she asked herself
as her life prove to be full of deception
Built based on lies & cheat
how she'd been fooled around & beated

They whisper here and there
words flew over the rear
from one to another, labeled by,
homosapiens that dont differ from me and u

She leave on,walk through the path
with ignorance surround , guarding her tight
Deep down, she wish to get back to reality
to be awaken from a dream
a depth that's hurting,
where justice overshadows

She's the after school ride
just an after school ride
being stepped on, up & about
the beat up ride
where the reality is the worse nightmare
as she's been misinterprete
& no one who see her the way they supposed to
& no one really care to care
taken into a place
where people cant stop stared
their whispers, their words, getting louder to her ears
second by second

she know by then
shes the after school ride
where people drop by
make fun, had fun,
then left, left in the cold
pretty much alone and drained

The pain that she cant bare
not anymore
its been killing her inside out
slowly, her soul was taken out
in an instant, she changed into something she once disgust
all on the cause of words
that turn into speeches
molding her into the out line
crashed by the path that she once on

The words, the speech
those lines, hurt her so bad that shes starting to consume
& let it stays inside her
beginning to be apart of her
drifting every piece of what left of her away
she's now one of them, lost, disgusted,
forgotten

From the old dusty journal

This was practically made around earlier this year.

in a moment where i was quite lost in translation.

"AS YOU"

u make me do things i swear i wont

u broke down my grounds
u make me vulnarable when i shield myself up
u reach out ur hands when i was ready to give up
u turn my life around when ure presence surround

u reach out ur hands as i was ready to live
u give me hope as i would not expect it'll be
u let me live as much as i do, no burden no misused
the reason why i love you, no force no bound
live life, loud & laugh
as much as i doubt my heart
u would straight it up
as the strings is messed up
u pull it once & everything are fine
no bound rules, just trust & love
as u reach out ur hand, then loosen when needed

ill be waiting when the time comes
where u reach out ur hands
fits into mine & never let go
as we stared into each others eyes
& never look away
never.
i'll say
iloveyouwithallofmyheart.

Not So Fancy Me

New step,its a new age
nor taken by laughter or rage
im here to write and let be
to sprinkle the plain coffee

its ilya hida ismail hisham
nicks 'leia,baby,cherry'
either one works fine for me

as for u, as for me
this is my leftover
the crumbs of munchies
the spilt over slurpies

salam,hi,so on
WELCOME TO MY OTHERSIDE

shout out to;
all my loved ones
&&
the person who made me have the guts to write my poem and blog it,
ALEX
his first expression to my writings was 'comel'
hahha
ill take that as a compliment