Nov 21, 2009

Bloody Hell

Its blood
leaking through my emotions in this tender strength

its mine
winding through bones in my body
shivers my heart,
weak,no more
not anymore.

im gold
darken by the shining light that mischieved my threat
words, are just words for me
once wounded, ill blow truth to hell
drag you,i will
im going to.

this wind, these kisses, these tears
these pictures,
means alot, but not enough

the biggest part , was once in me
now, a piece of a 'thing' somewhere in the chaotic box of my mind.

Yes, im angry, furious,hurt and fine.

It has been a while, a very long one.

I hate that when i blog, i say things thats too personal and the people that would read it would just get annoyed. So, i stopped. I have so much too talk about, so much forgotten. Why do my gf's and bf's have to be so far away from me.
Im stranded now. Thinking too much, maybe i felt that what's best wasnt that good after all. I miss this. I miss you, my dearest friends.

Im having my own SELF retreat, treating myself to things i wanted to do, but never did, things that i had to give up, i am focus to strive for my own happiness, my satisfaction.

If loving, commiting, means not being happy and forcing myself, then it's not right. Doesnt matter how hard it hurts me, i believe i'll be better in time. I'll cry, i swear i would, but thats ok, im still fine, those are emotions, can't help it aye.

Im occupied, for you, my love, which is my passion and you guys, me dearest.
Im flying away from the cage that once locked me in.